Whereisize
4 min readOct 21, 2023

Sa Happen: Repentance, SUVs and Surviving Nigeria

Hey there!

Welcome to Sa Happen; my weekly compilation of the major events that shaped conversations in Nigeria. You can expect some information on recent politics, policies, and controversies. You should totally expect some mischief too😉 .

How are you?

How have you been?

How is Tinubu’s economy treating you?

If you could not answer these questions with a simple ‘yes’ then you are in good company. Despite Tinubu’s best effort, we gather dey. Right? God pass dem or any other pickup line you can think about right now, use it to hold body.

So, what has been happening this week?

A lot. Nigeria has been going through a lot.

First things first, bring out your dancing shoes 👠 I don’t usually wear heels but this occasion is something to celebrate. Our lawmakers got themselves brand new SUVs 💃 🕺

Because they work so hard, they are being given cars allegedly worth 160 million naira each, to help them advocate for better living conditions for Nigerians. Please, don’t think that it is extravagant to spend such an amount on cars at this moment. It is the best way to protect our lawmakers and make life easy for them.

Who will protect the rest of the citizens?

I am glad you asked. Kano state has taken the initiative to lead the way and show great spirit by recruiting repentant thugs into the Nigerian Police Force.

Let me break it down for you.

Pictures of a man in a police uniform surfaced online during the week. At first, I thought that he looked quite happy to be in the police force, and was wondering what the outrage was all about. Then I read further and realised that the smiling chap was a repentant thug popularly known as Chile Madoki. The guy was even on the police wanted list.

Chile Maidoki, repentant G!

This is proof that you can be anything in Nigeria, as long as you repent. We are so forgiving!

Away from repentance and SUVs, a new episode dropped from the Academic Staff Union of Universities- ASUU/ Federal Government- FG Series. This time, FG, under the directive of the Grand Commander of our Federation, Tinubu, gave the order for four out of the five months pending salaries of lecturers to be paid.

If you know any lecturer now, time to strategise o! Call them up and greet them now. There’s one waiver clause attached to the release of the salaries that I don’t quite understand but then again, who understands what Tinubu has been doing these days? Not me. And certainly not Engr. Ibrahim Kashim Imam.

So, the week before, news came to us that Tinubu had nominated a 24-year-old fresh graduate to lead the Federal Roads Maintenance Agency. This announcement was welcomed by diverging views. Some people felt it was a good thing to give young chaps such opportunities. Others felt that it was important to have someone with experience in the driver's seat.

This week, Tinubu withdrew the nomination. Although we have not been provided with the reasons for this nomination withdrawal, it does make people (not me) question the thinking process of the President. Some people (not me) are beginning to have their confidence in Tinubu, waver.

One such person is someone who was the presidential candidate of the PDP in the 2023 elections, Atiku Abubakar. Atiku had appealed the judgment made by the Election Tribunal which was in favor of the continued reign of Tinubu. He had then gone before the Supreme Court to appeal his case.

The Supreme Court is set to hear the appeal on Monday, the 23rd of October. Atiku believes that Tinubu is not good for us and that he can do better? 🤔

Meanwhile, away from the indirect and direct ways that Nigeria has been trying to kill it’s citizens, the Isreal-Palestine massacre is still ongoing. This week, following a bomb at a hospital in Gaza, hundreds of persons (especially children) have died.

Al- Ahli Arab hospital. Photo credit: NPR

I wish there was a way for children to temporarily return to heaven without witnessing the violence of war.

Seriously though, I would love to know your opinions on the Isreal-Palestine massacre in the comments. Please share your thoughts with me.

In the meantime, read the last edition of Sa Happen here.

Till we meet again, say a prayer for the economy, for the waring regions, for everything.

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