Choice and Identity in the face of violence.

As a Muslim woman, one of the many sights that I admire is that of a Muslim woman who is draped in a floor-length hijab. I have always thought that perhaps one day, my eeman (faith) will be so strong and I will be so centred in my beliefs that they will manifest enough for me to want to wear a hijab so completely, so thoroughly that there would be no question on my identity as a Muslim woman. It is an identity that many women choose, it is also an identity that has cost many women their ability to choose and worse still, their ability to live.

The hijab is a direct commandment of Allah. We are to wear it in total submission to a divine being, like offering sacrifices to Orisha, or praising one’s chi- an act of devotion. Nothing more, nothing less. Growing up, however, we were taught that aside being a commandment from God, the hijab was meant to protect us. It was meant to protect us from the lust of men (read as; assaults, harassment, rape) and perhaps this wasn’t such a bad bargain if only it were true. We would learn very quickly that nothing protects women, girls and even men, from men. We would even see the rapes and assaults of women and girls in mosques, in holy gatherings and sites, by trusted Muslim scholars. There is also the reference to the wearing of hijab or the lack thereof as a woman’s duty. Not duty to God, no. But duty to men; that by wearing the hijab, a woman fulfils her duty of protecting men from lusting after her body and the sin of engaging in sexual affairs with her (consensual or otherwise).

It has become obvious that the hijab, like many things taught to Muslim women, is often solely taught to educate women in the art of maintaining women’s honour which in fact is a synonym for men’s honour. To protect men’s honour, women must then know their place and act accordingly.

I have often wondered about this place that was considered ours, and the more that I thought about it, the more that it occurred to me that this place that was supposedly ours, was always wherever men decided we were needed. We were taught to fear God and honour him, but we were also taught and in fact, drilled into the belief that to honour God was to learn to navigate and serve the desires of the men in our lives. We were to represent ourselves as true Muslim women; clad in hijab, finding fulfilment in tending to our households and our children through unpaid domestic labour and childcare and thus honouring our men and God.

But what happens to outliers? Those who are not wired to conform this way? Those who do not want to mother, or wife? Or wear their identity?

Most importantly, what happens to those who once were considered true Muslim women and who for whatever reason have come to the decision to physically present in other ways? What happens to Muslim women who are considered lost?

A few months ago, a Somali woman trended on the app formerly known as Twitter. She appeared in pictures and videos bruised and battered by her biological brother who took it upon himself to remind her of her place. Her offence was simple; she had posted a video of herself dancing and without a hijab on TikTok. Her brother had then taken the enormous duty upon himself to beat a grown woman into covering herself, to protect her honour and the honour of her family.

Around the same time, a Nigerian woman who was once considered a good woman for reciting the Quran on some digital spaces sometimes, and presenting in hijab was cyberbullied into issuing an apology for posting content of herself without a hijab.

What was more interesting was that, while many persons were outraged and rightly demanded justice for these women, many more were cheering and supporting these acts, claiming that it was the only way to redeem the image of Islam that these women had tarnished by their personal choices.

Meanwhile, many videos appear of Muslim men, partying with no recorded repercussions. In Nigeria alone, many movie stars and musicians who identify as Muslim, engage in acts that are considered sinful in Islam; from Ali Nuhu hugging and touching women in movies, to Naira Marley singing and creating music videos that are not exactly Muslim- like… why has no one beaten up these men? Where is the uproar? The protection of their honour? The defence for the religion of Islam?

Why do people feel comfortable harming women on behalf of Islam?

It is simple to answer these questions, really.

Maybe we will find the answer in Cersei’s reply to Little Finger in Game of Thrones, “All around the world, they hurt girls”

They hurt girls and women, because we are not considered human enough to have wants, to have the agency to decide who we are. Because we are viewed as objects, always in relation to men, never as full humans with rights and reasoning.

And it is not in any one religion or any one culture. It is a universal language ingrained through patriarchy, defying race, cultures, religions, and evolution; the language of teaching women their place.

What does Islam say about causing harm, especially to fellow Muslims?

It was narrated by Abu Dawood (3635), at-Tirmidhi (1940), Ibn Maajah (2342), Ahmad (15755), at-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer (830), al-Bayhaqi in his Sunan (11386), al-Kharaa’iti in Masaawi’ al-Akhlaaq (583) from Abu Sirmah, that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever harms [others], Allah will harm him, and whoever causes hardship [to others] Allah will cause hardship to him.”

Muslims are not expected to cause harm, especially to their fellow Muslims. Even when they feel that the boundaries of the religion have been transgressed, Muslims must seek address through the appropriate channels and trust in their leaders and systems to get them justice. When all these fail, they must take solace in the belief that come the day of judgement, Allah would punish those who have wronged them. Never has Islam promoted in its scripts the acceptance of “corrective” actions outside of institutions, nor has any individual been given the power to mete out judgment outside of judges.

Whether Muslim women choose to wear the hijab or not, whether they choose to dance in videos or not, publicise their sins or not, it is important to understand that their actions are between themselves and their Lords, or at least between them and their states, if they are in an Islamic state.

This brings to mind the 16th verse of the Chapter of Bees in the Quran,

“Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.”

Even when we believe that people have strayed and we wish to draw them back into the fold, violence is not the way to go. We must follow in the footsteps laid down by the religion and find the best ways to redirect them.

In the end, these women are full-grown humans with every right in the world to live in their choices and present themselves the way they feel best.

We must insist on a zero tolerance to violence and insist that Muslim men refocus their energies on themselves; on learning the Quran and the hadith for themselves and understanding what their place is. Their only call in life is to serve Allah.

It is enough work to live in the way that Islam proscribes, better to focus on perfecting their own lives than killing and harming women.

Hey there! Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this, kindly leave a clap. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment too!